mortal

One of these days,

I'll hang

my superwoman's uniform

in the closet

steps

Recently I discovered the wisdom of my body and the foolishness of my “thinking” mind . And during that times 52 played in my readings. My thinking mind has violated a lot my bodily system. But let me tell you a story

For a long time, Soldier-Body was complaining about physical and mental fatigue but it wasn’t heard. It tried many times to speak but the reaction of the General-Thinking- Mind was “Stop complaining ! We have work to do ! Work !” And the Soldier-Body unable to confront the General obeyed to his orders. But things have gone from bad to worse.

One day the Solder decided to disobey the General and refused to follow his commands. The General shout to him “Move!” but he stayed standstill and with a loud voice said. “I can’t move anymore” . and then he ceased every activity and went to rest in his courtyard. He could hear the General calling him to return to his duties. But he didn’t . This was his chance to change things, to the better for himself and the army he belongs to.

He stayed unmovable for a long time thinking the dangers of his condition. He was very exhausted that be became ill. His life was threatened. On the other hand disobeying to the general could cause him lots of problems. He decided to consult the Yi. Asked many questions to contemplate the situation and Yi told him ,again and again, two advices. 59.2 >20 and 46.2.6 >52.

Read LiSe’s thoughts “When everything is in chaos, then your can only rely on your survival instincts, your 'luck', your own wits, 'something' inside yourself which makes you find a way out.” And about 20.2 she says “Face the danger, don't run blindly. Awaken your creativity to solve this, instead of running away.” Make sense, he though and chuckled when he read “a flight of stairs”. Stairs and how to climb them is what those lines of 46 talk about and 52 about inner rest , something he desperately needed.

He went to find some friends of him,"He hurries to that which supports him". Amazing was the strengh he found inside him and make the small trips towards what supports him. His illness back off for a while and let him go there. One of the friends told him : “Think of distilling, where you want to keep the essence , but burn off the rest” Hmm, make sense too. I'm burning everything here, he thought.

The General knock his door and asked to discuss the problem. He has calm down now. Listen carefully to his Solder and promised to reduce his demands.

Things in the camp are better now.



Photo by Spigoo

decrease

photo by hickoree

Giving is not harmful. Neither for the giver nor for the receiver. Unless there is not balance.. Even in a lower position , a small rock holds a lots of strength and can support a big one Unless there is not balance. Then, the whole structure can fall apart.

As givers we sometimes have to reduce ourselves for the benefit of the whole. But there is a line we shouldn’t cross and loss us and get lost in the crowd . The same with the receivers. They can accept the other’s offer but to a point that they don’t diminish them.

So when we reduce the lower to enrich the higher we should never forget that line. This is not easy to do. How many of us have offer ourselves to serve someone or something and felt drained and naïve, and all that joy of offering became a thorn in our heart?

Giving is not harmful and sometimes is necessary but in absence of balance it can be.

tightrope

photo by orangebrompton

Sometimes walking our life is like tightrope walking at a great height. Safety nets are not always available neither balancing poles. All we got is our body . We stretch out our hands and walk along the rope trying to keep ourselves up there.

Acrobats use various balancing tools like hats rings, canes, and umbrellas. I choose to buy a notebook and a pencil to help me hold myself up. So for the next 6 weeks I’ll walk with a notepad and a pencil in my hands. Its scary up there and to be honest the tools I have are not the solution of my problem but for some hours I can smile. I search for the eyes of my friends who see me from down there and I smile to them too. They smile me back and my foots get stronger. And when the void tries to swallow me, I turn my eyes to the other side of the rope. There is someone I have promise to meet . I meet you there, I said to her and I’ll do my best to keep my promise.

Walking along a rope is an art and when you have to perform the feat make it as an artist.

pillow

Tell me a story,

As we are here
By the camp fire.
Under the starry sky.

On your pillow-laps,
I’ll rest my mind,
listen to your words,
and fire’s music.

Tell me a fairy tale

I’ll close my eyes
And follow you,
in your story-paths

If I fell asleep,
before the” happily ever after”
don’t wake me up.
Just kiss me for goodnight

idle

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idle

.

break

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So what are we going to do?
Keep fighting?

I’m hearing you !
But do you hear me ?

“I’m tired”, I told you.
“you are not allowed”, you said

For god’s sake
Give me a break !
.
.

empty titles

What does the word “title “ means ?

From Answer.com I found.
A formal appellation attached to the name of a person or family by virtue of office, rank, hereditary privilege, noble birth, or attainment or used as a mark of respect.
And in Law : The aggregate evidence that gives rise to a legal right of possession or control. The coincidence of all the elements that constitute the fullest legal right to control and dispose of property or a claim

Such a common word and so misunderstood .

We , the entitled individuals, sometimes we forget what that title we hold means. Which are our rights and which our responsibilities ? We think that from the moment we are given a name not matter how and why, this is when any effort pause. Some titles are given because we have work to get them and from a junior manager we become a respectful manager. To keep it we have to prove everyday we deserve it.

There are some titles that there are given because of the situation. Like father, mother, son, daughter. In such cases the work begins after entitlement. And this is very confusing for some people and out of that confusion they have claims, demands, expectations without willing to work for that.

In a work environment there is the job description paper to make clear to workers which are their responsibilities and which are their rights. But in other relationships things are not clear. We have to find ourselves what we are entitled to do and what not. Not knowing is just an excuses. I’m not saying that I can not accept that might be a solid reason but I believe that if you don’t know something we need to know we try to learn it.

I have been told that I don’t respect titles. It is true. I don’t. I show disrespect to empty titles. I don’t claim that I’m perfect. I have worked to honor my titles as possible as I could for my own peace of mind. But at the same time I was working hard to fill other peoples’ entitlements to make the work for them. But this was so wrong and this peace of mind was an illusion.

It hurts when the holders of empty titles call me disrespectful or egoistic but I’m practicing pain management and they say it works. We’ll see.

metamorphosis

While inside the cocoon

a caterpillar
struggles and grows
struggles and grows
struggles and grows
till the time comes
to slip out the cocoon
spread her wings
and fly away
as a butterfly

So who are we?

"So who are we? We are the life force power of the universe, with manual
dexterity and two cognitive minds. And we have the power to choose, moment by
moment, who and how we want to be in the world. Right here right now, I can step
into the consciousness of my right hemisphere where we are -- I am -- the life
force power of the universe, and the life force power of the 50 trillion
beautiful molecular geniuses that make up my form. At one with all that is. Or I
can choose to step into the consciousness of my left hemisphere. where I become
a single individual, a solid, separate from the flow, separate from you. I am
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, intellectual, neuroanatomist. These are the "we" inside
of me.
Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when? I believe that
the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner peace circuitry of our
right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world and the more
peaceful our planet will be. And I thought that was an idea worth
spreading."

Jill Botle Taylor.

Amazing speach. Enjoy it !!!

.

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My thanks to Meng who post that link in Clarity's forum .

barefoot

Fool moon in Scorpio today. Have I told you how much fool moon affects me? You better never find out by yourself. Ok. This is a joke (kind of ) but don’t tell me you haven’t be warned .
Yesterday I had to work till late. On the way back to home the moon catch my eyes. I felt it penetrating my body and heard it whispering in my ear. “Wouldn’t be nice if you could dance barefoot ?”

I had planned to work at home for the rest of the night, but my briefcase stayed closed. Mostly because the goal from the begging was unrealistic since I was already exhausted but also because of the moon’s spell. I took a medicine for the headache, put my shoes of, lie down on the sofa and close my eyes.

I went to the beach. It was a warm day and I was all-alone. I danced barefooted in the sand. The hot sand warmed my body and in the wet sand, where little waves where braking, like a thirsty sponge I absorbed the sea water. Next I was in a valley, dancing on the moistened meadows and then from the foot of the mountain climbed to the top. Barefooted. I felt the soft soil and the hard rocks in my feet. While I was in the top a cloud was passing. I grab it and continue my dance on the cloud.

No, I didn’t felt asleep. I was awake on my couch but I felt the sand, the grass the rocks and the cloud in my feet. I felt the energy penetrating my body. It felt really good. Like a inner river moving along my body, cleaning the dirty and giving joy.

If that sounds bizarre, blame the moon. It was it’s idea. Lol

Fields

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“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there”- Rumi

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be-coming

I was talking with a friend, the other day , about my 3.5 to 24 reading. LiSe calls this hexagram “the spark of life» and Wilhelm "difficulty at the beginning." It’s about the process whereby seeds sprout and begin to grow. 24 is about return, turning points, cycles.

Each time I get 3 a weird feeling runs through each cell of my being. Haven’t found yet a name for that feeling not that it is important to give a name for it. But nowadays ,to me, 3 is pure chaos as the primal emptiness. Times were disorder, confusion, uncertenty and many other things grap your hand and take you to a weird dance in the void. Times that the question “what should I do ?” remains unsolved and you can’t do much about it. Just stay there and live with the question and do the best you can. Sometimes what we wish to do is far away from what the circumstances allow us to do. There is a time for everything and the answer will come, hopefully in its time. That’s the hard thing and requires patient and balance.

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It’s like what that friend of mine told me. “ Picture having a big ball of tangled string and your job is to weave it into something useful. Before you can weave it you must untangle it. If you just start pulling hard on it here and there, it just makes the mess more difficult to untangle. So you must patiently find the end, and pull it free, then a little more, and more, and so on”.

This tangled ball of string is in my mind for a long time. Sometimes I can accept it as a necessary stage in a process but sometimes I’m so tired that I can’t find the strength to work with that. Sometimes I can see the progress I have made and feel proud for myself but there are times that I want desperately to see that messy ball to become ready for weaving. Apparently, the time is not now.

So here I’m , in an empty space, without knowing exactly how to fill it. Nostalgia for a home I’ve never been before is that paradox feeling I can’t explain.

If I could explain my 3.5 to 24 in a word, “be-coming” would be the one.

Wish me a interesting trip.

it's not a mountain

They told they had to move the mountain from here to there. “We can’t do that ! It is not possible” they replied, and stayed standstill in frond of the mountain.
Then one of them said. “ We have no other choice, we have to do it”. Yes, but how, a voice said. The man went closer to the mountain, stayed for a while there and when he came back he said. “if you go closer, you will see that it is not really a solid mountain. It’s made of sand. We can move it.

They took their buckets and started moving a mountain.

“Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality” – N. Kazantzakis

.photo by Hamed Saber

But

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But I couldn't resist to that song....

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Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin

Dance me through the panic till Im gathered safely in

Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove

Dance me to the end of love