Dec 16, 2009

heart's paths

I was looking for something else, a lost text file and I found this. Funny because this is the question that keep hearing in my mind.

Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition.
I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. This question is one that only a very old man asks.
My benefactor told me about it once when I was young, and my blood was too vigorous for me to understand it. Now I do understand it. I will tell you what it is: Does this path have a heart?
~ Carlos Castaneda

So, does this path has a heart ?

Unfortunately, I know the answer. No this path has not a heart. I tried to make artificial heart to keep that body alive and able to walk , but those heart don’t endure. And when those artificial hearts’ stop beating we can hear the silent heart. Its depressing that silence, and I struggle to walk on every second on that heart-less path. That path is like a closed freeway but free is not how it feels. Have you ever been in just a closed road by mistake and do you remember the anxiety to find the first exit and get out ? If yes, you know what I mean.
What makes me angry is that there where some exit that I’ve failed to see and the more you walk on that path , the hardest is to get out. There were time that I was just a step away from the exit but because of some reason, I didn’t step out. Nowadays, this path is as heart-less as it can be and it looks impossible that there is any exit .

But I just realized that this path has a heart-path the one that will lead me to a path with heart. Don’t ask me how it is that path with heart, my mind doesn’t know. What I can say now is that in that path without heart there is a heart trying to go out in her own path.

umm, does this path has a heart ?????
Now I'm confused....



Dec 10, 2009

no point

I reserved my time to see you
The appointment was fixed for today.
There was no reservation from your part.
You said : Goodnight, nice to see you
I didn’t say : Disappointment
But it was.

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