Dec 31, 2008

it's a book !!!

Those days, I was gluing my blog entries and forming "kind of" a book. I noticed typos, wrong words and other kinds of mistakes. BUT those imperfections didn't reduce the magic of my *book*.

Same with my life during the last year.

While bookbinding, I had the chance to see again photos of past moments. Happy times and sad times. Smilies and tears.

My blog entries and my life have lots of imperfections but I really don't feel sad. Because, under those circumstanses, I did the best I could. Looking back, I think I could avoid many typos and choose better words, but I'm fine.

So today, in a loose way, I can tell "I got published". No big thing, because I'm the writer and the publisher at the same time. It was easy, lol.

I'm the writer and the publisher of a book with lots of imperfections.
Next time, I'll do it better. But for now, I'm fine with it.

Dec 30, 2008


Hi there,
Just wanted to tell you
That I am You now
I see in my mirror

I need to choose
Which self to wear
You-Now or Me-Then ?

I look in the mirror
Which fits me best.

Time for new clothes,
the mirror says


photo from Paris Parfait

Dec 29, 2008

dots and lines

Random dots
here and there

waiting for a hand

to draw a line

that makes sense

Photo from google

Dec 28, 2008


Somewhere in the crowd
there is a woman.

It rains
but she doesn't get wet.

Maybe she wears
an invisible raincoat.

Dec 27, 2008

don't ask

Promises that can't be kept
shouldn't be said
I won't promise you anything
it's not fair
neither for you, nor for me


Dec 26, 2008

scouts vs guides

Guido Van Der Werve: Everything is going to be alright

H : Wow !Looks like the tiny man leads the huge icebreaker. The ship looks like a tamed big animal. The Creative is tamed by Kên. Yes, very 26. Who opens the way ? The man or the ship or those two are one ? We see the man walking in a calmly and carefully way. Maybe he knows that one wrong step , a slip, would be fatal. the ship might kill him. Yes, everything is going to be alright, as long as he keeps his pace steady and his urge, to reach the shore, tamed.

M : Who opens the way? That is the feeling of it. Surely it isn't him, is it? Is that how it really is in life? Do we run reconnaissance ahead of ourselves, or act as a guide?

H : There is a thin line between scouting and guiding, as I see it. I’m not sure if it is always clear in our minds whether we are scouts or guides. Which information we let ourselves to see? Does a plan proceed or follow? Theoretically we know the answers but when it comes to a real situation, well, then it’s another issue. I see that film through the lens of my current challenges. In my eyes , now, the ship is not behind the man. That huge ship is inside the tiny man or he is surrounded from that huge potential energy. It reminds me of the times we come across to something really big and we don’t know what to do with it. It’s the beauty and the danger of the 29 river. Not an easy decision to step into the river and let it guide you. Too much resistance to let it be.


Entering the left belly.
Catching the heart of Hiding Brightness.
Coming out of front door and courtyard.

When one enters into the battle with fear, danger, unhappiness, obstruction, one might defeat them and show up again. As long as they are avoided, unconscious or set aside, they have more power than you.

When you are afraid of a monster you can run away from it and it might lose your traces. But can you live the rest of your life with that fear, that somewhere you will meet it again ?
The way I see that line, it doesn’t say run away but go where the monster is and deal with it. I think this is what Lise talks about. Deal with it and exit from that situation from the front door.
As a winner .

Dec 25, 2008

Christmas free

I wanted to write something about the real meaning of Christmas and the return of the light but this was not what it wanted to be written.

This year, Christmas day was quiet. No big gatherings, no “shoulds…., because its Christmas” .

This year, Christmas day was Christmas-free. And I enjoyed it because this was what I really wanted.

This year, Christmas day was Christmas-free ...
or it wasn't ?


Dec 21, 2008

lets grrr together

A friend of mine going through difficult times. I’m not in a better position too. So nowadays, as you can imagine, when we chat there is a “grrr- part”. Sometimes its a long one , sometimes a brief one.

Today I came across to the following. I think Paolo Coelho wrote it.

The master says: "If you must cry, cry like a child."You were once a child, and one of the first things you learned in life was to cry, because crying is a part of life. Never forget that you are free, and that to show your emotions is not shameful. "Scream, sob loudly, make as much noise as you like. Because that is how children cry, and they know the fastest way to put their hearts at ease."Have you ever noticed how children stop crying? They stop because something distracts them. Something calls them to the next adventure. "Children stop crying very quickly."And that's how it will be for you. But only if you can cry as children do."

Ok, I know that there are people that suffer more than I do, they have to face greater and more important challenges than mine and I should be grateful that my problems are not that big or difficult as theirs. I know that, but…

…but this doesn’t mean that I can’t complain, be frustrated, grumpy, whimpering.
Complaining is not bad, as long as it has a cleansing purpose. All that noise in our mind doesn’t let us relax and sometimes when you take that noise out, it stops even for a while. Those days he is a crying baby and I’m a crying baby too. We need that. To clean inside and then be “present” to our meeting. We have fun after the “grrr-part”. We laugh, we tease each other, we talk about “more important” things, as one could say.

“Lets grr together” he told me the other day. I chuckled when I heard that. Because actually its not the “grr-part” that is the most important here. Is that you can do it together with someone else. And later you can make fun of your self about grumbling.

Some people say, “Don’t cry. It’s not that important. See the positive side.”
I like more the “Scream, sob loudly, make as much noise as you like.”

Cry baby, cry…


image : SAD Pony Guerilla Girl. by About a Boy

Dec 19, 2008


Not much to give anymore.
Don’t want to, can’t do it.
Too tired.

Spend everything I had .
Nothing has left.
I’m drained

And now it’s time,
to sit back in my chair,
and fill what is empty.

it's your turn now…


Dec 14, 2008


"Good God!
How much blue colour you wasted
so that we won't see you.."

Odysseas Elytis

Dec 13, 2008

under the carpet

The work of graffiti artist Banksy

Sometimes people try to hide a problem , ignore unpleasant things and pretend or even forget them. They sweep things under the carpet and give the impression that there is not problem at all.

But the problem exists. Under the carpet.

In a place I live, some people instead of cleaning the floor use to lift up the rug and sweep the dirt and dust under it. The other day, I took the vacuum to clean a bit. Couldn’t stand the dust anymore. Some other residents then, annoyed from the vacuum cleaner’s noise told me to turn it off. Everything is clean here, they said.

But there is dirt, under the carpet.

Dec 10, 2008

virtual dog

It's been a long time since I had a dog. I like dogs a lot but with the schedule I have ,that is impossible. It would be all day alone and I won't be able to take care of it. And that is not fair for it. If i had one , it would be as the one in the picture. He is Blacky, my virtual dog.

Dec 6, 2008


Photo by Bea Kotecka
You choose to be elsewhere.
It was more valuable for you.
you told me...

I’m not your treasure
So don’t ask me, to give you back,
those you didn’t gave me.

Everything I have gather,
its for the ones
who treasure them.

And I exit…