Apr 23, 2009


Its interesting the kind of people we meet in our lives. Some of them are like the person we want to be, some others the persons we were/are. And we, somewhere in the middle, trying to correct our course, towards that spot called home.

Apr 21, 2009


He is here !!!
He came to meet me.
I met him at the airport.
Our first face to face meeting.
He was warm. I was frozen.



Photo : fire & ice by Risachantag
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Apr 12, 2009

a call

Two Sundays ago, a sunny day outside and fresh coffee in my mug, the perfect Sunday morning. And me, feeling a bit strong after a long time. Though to take care my home which I had neglected lately. Time to save some time and energy for yourself, told to my happy side. Time and energy for ourselves, hard to change it when you are used to something else. But that Sunday morning I felt that I could do it.

Till the phone rang.

I don’t spend much time to my home nowadays. That phone call said that I have to spend many hours in a hospital by my mom who had an accident, and then to her house, since she has not someone else to take care of her. A call that I couldn’t say no.

I was very angry at the beginning. Angry not with my mom, but for the timing of that accident. That same day, I felt strong to fight for my time and my space, a call that asks to put myself aside because someone else needs your help. “Why now, why now” I kept asking, but no answer.

I suspect I know why. Olds issues locked and sealed in my mind’s safety box make noises. Painkillers reduce my back’s and knees’ pain and help me move and sleep. Not much improvement, but even that little relief is welcome. It’s not the right time to complain, once again. Time to be strong, once again.
Painkillers for the pain but nothing yet for those noises.

At least, I maybe have an answer for my “why now ?” question

I shouldn’t complain, Should I ?

Apr 5, 2009

around the center

I'm here
Trying to stay in the center
"You can manage it, you can manage it"
keep telling to myself