Two Sundays ago, a sunny day outside and fresh coffee in my mug, the perfect Sunday morning. And me, feeling a bit strong after a long time. Though to take care my home which I had neglected lately. Time to save some time and energy for yourself, told to my happy side. Time and energy for ourselves, hard to change it when you are used to something else. But that Sunday morning I felt that I could do it.
Till the phone rang.
I don’t spend much time to my home nowadays. That phone call said that I have to spend many hours in a hospital by my mom who had an accident, and then to her house, since she has not someone else to take care of her. A call that I couldn’t say no.
I was very angry at the beginning. Angry not with my mom, but for the timing of that accident. That same day, I felt strong to fight for my time and my space, a call that asks to put myself aside because someone else needs your help. “Why now, why now” I kept asking, but no answer.
I suspect I know why. Olds issues locked and sealed in my mind’s safety box make noises. Painkillers reduce my back’s and knees’ pain and help me move and sleep. Not much improvement, but even that little relief is welcome. It’s not the right time to complain, once again. Time to be strong, once again.
Painkillers for the pain but nothing yet for those noises.
At least, I maybe have an answer for my “why now ?” question
I shouldn’t complain, Should I ?