Apr 18, 2008


I was talking with a friend, the other day , about my 3.5 to 24 reading. LiSe calls this hexagram “the spark of life» and Wilhelm "difficulty at the beginning." It’s about the process whereby seeds sprout and begin to grow. 24 is about return, turning points, cycles.

Each time I get 3 a weird feeling runs through each cell of my being. Haven’t found yet a name for that feeling not that it is important to give a name for it. But nowadays ,to me, 3 is pure chaos as the primal emptiness. Times were disorder, confusion, uncertenty and many other things grap your hand and take you to a weird dance in the void. Times that the question “what should I do ?” remains unsolved and you can’t do much about it. Just stay there and live with the question and do the best you can. Sometimes what we wish to do is far away from what the circumstances allow us to do. There is a time for everything and the answer will come, hopefully in its time. That’s the hard thing and requires patient and balance.
It’s like what that friend of mine told me. “ Picture having a big ball of tangled string and your job is to weave it into something useful. Before you can weave it you must untangle it. If you just start pulling hard on it here and there, it just makes the mess more difficult to untangle. So you must patiently find the end, and pull it free, then a little more, and more, and so on”.

This tangled ball of string is in my mind for a long time. Sometimes I can accept it as a necessary stage in a process but sometimes I’m so tired that I can’t find the strength to work with that. Sometimes I can see the progress I have made and feel proud for myself but there are times that I want desperately to see that messy ball to become ready for weaving. Apparently, the time is not now.

So here I’m , in an empty space, without knowing exactly how to fill it. Nostalgia for a home I’ve never been before is that paradox feeling I can’t explain.

If I could explain my 3.5 to 24 in a word, “be-coming” would be the one.

Wish me a interesting trip.

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