Apr 30, 2008

empty titles

What does the word “title “ means ?

From Answer.com I found.
A formal appellation attached to the name of a person or family by virtue of office, rank, hereditary privilege, noble birth, or attainment or used as a mark of respect.
And in Law : The aggregate evidence that gives rise to a legal right of possession or control. The coincidence of all the elements that constitute the fullest legal right to control and dispose of property or a claim

Such a common word and so misunderstood .

We , the entitled individuals, sometimes we forget what that title we hold means. Which are our rights and which our responsibilities ? We think that from the moment we are given a name not matter how and why, this is when any effort pause. Some titles are given because we have work to get them and from a junior manager we become a respectful manager. To keep it we have to prove everyday we deserve it.

There are some titles that there are given because of the situation. Like father, mother, son, daughter. In such cases the work begins after entitlement. And this is very confusing for some people and out of that confusion they have claims, demands, expectations without willing to work for that.

In a work environment there is the job description paper to make clear to workers which are their responsibilities and which are their rights. But in other relationships things are not clear. We have to find ourselves what we are entitled to do and what not. Not knowing is just an excuses. I’m not saying that I can not accept that might be a solid reason but I believe that if you don’t know something we need to know we try to learn it.

I have been told that I don’t respect titles. It is true. I don’t. I show disrespect to empty titles. I don’t claim that I’m perfect. I have worked to honor my titles as possible as I could for my own peace of mind. But at the same time I was working hard to fill other peoples’ entitlements to make the work for them. But this was so wrong and this peace of mind was an illusion.

It hurts when the holders of empty titles call me disrespectful or egoistic but I’m practicing pain management and they say it works. We’ll see.

Apr 24, 2008


While inside the cocoon
a caterpillar
struggles and grows
struggles and grows
struggles and grows
till the time comes
to slip out the cocoon
spread her wings
and fly away
as a butterfly

Apr 21, 2008

So who are we?

"So who are we? We are the life force power of the universe, with manual
dexterity and two cognitive minds. And we have the power to choose, moment by
moment, who and how we want to be in the world. Right here right now, I can step
into the consciousness of my right hemisphere where we are -- I am -- the life
force power of the universe, and the life force power of the 50 trillion
beautiful molecular geniuses that make up my form. At one with all that is. Or I
can choose to step into the consciousness of my left hemisphere. where I become
a single individual, a solid, separate from the flow, separate from you. I am
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, intellectual, neuroanatomist. These are the "we" inside
of me.
Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when? I believe that
the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner peace circuitry of our
right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world and the more
peaceful our planet will be. And I thought that was an idea worth

Jill Botle Taylor.

Amazing speach. Enjoy it !!!



My thanks to Meng who post that link in Clarity's forum .

Apr 20, 2008


Fool moon in Scorpio today. Have I told you how much fool moon affects me? You better never find out by yourself. Ok. This is a joke (kind of ) but don’t tell me you haven’t be warned .
Yesterday I had to work till late. On the way back to home the moon catch my eyes. I felt it penetrating my body and heard it whispering in my ear. “Wouldn’t be nice if you could dance barefoot ?”

I had planned to work at home for the rest of the night, but my briefcase stayed closed. Mostly because the goal from the begging was unrealistic since I was already exhausted but also because of the moon’s spell. I took a medicine for the headache, put my shoes of, lie down on the sofa and close my eyes.

I went to the beach. It was a warm day and I was all-alone. I danced barefooted in the sand. The hot sand warmed my body and in the wet sand, where little waves where braking, like a thirsty sponge I absorbed the sea water. Next I was in a valley, dancing on the moistened meadows and then from the foot of the mountain climbed to the top. Barefooted. I felt the soft soil and the hard rocks in my feet. While I was in the top a cloud was passing. I grab it and continue my dance on the cloud.

No, I didn’t felt asleep. I was awake on my couch but I felt the sand, the grass the rocks and the cloud in my feet. I felt the energy penetrating my body. It felt really good. Like a inner river moving along my body, cleaning the dirty and giving joy.

If that sounds bizarre, blame the moon. It was it’s idea. Lol


“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there”- Rumi

Apr 18, 2008


I was talking with a friend, the other day , about my 3.5 to 24 reading. LiSe calls this hexagram “the spark of life» and Wilhelm "difficulty at the beginning." It’s about the process whereby seeds sprout and begin to grow. 24 is about return, turning points, cycles.

Each time I get 3 a weird feeling runs through each cell of my being. Haven’t found yet a name for that feeling not that it is important to give a name for it. But nowadays ,to me, 3 is pure chaos as the primal emptiness. Times were disorder, confusion, uncertenty and many other things grap your hand and take you to a weird dance in the void. Times that the question “what should I do ?” remains unsolved and you can’t do much about it. Just stay there and live with the question and do the best you can. Sometimes what we wish to do is far away from what the circumstances allow us to do. There is a time for everything and the answer will come, hopefully in its time. That’s the hard thing and requires patient and balance.
It’s like what that friend of mine told me. “ Picture having a big ball of tangled string and your job is to weave it into something useful. Before you can weave it you must untangle it. If you just start pulling hard on it here and there, it just makes the mess more difficult to untangle. So you must patiently find the end, and pull it free, then a little more, and more, and so on”.

This tangled ball of string is in my mind for a long time. Sometimes I can accept it as a necessary stage in a process but sometimes I’m so tired that I can’t find the strength to work with that. Sometimes I can see the progress I have made and feel proud for myself but there are times that I want desperately to see that messy ball to become ready for weaving. Apparently, the time is not now.

So here I’m , in an empty space, without knowing exactly how to fill it. Nostalgia for a home I’ve never been before is that paradox feeling I can’t explain.

If I could explain my 3.5 to 24 in a word, “be-coming” would be the one.

Wish me a interesting trip.

Apr 12, 2008

it's not a mountain

They told they had to move the mountain from here to there. “We can’t do that ! It is not possible” they replied, and stayed standstill in frond of the mountain.
Then one of them said. “ We have no other choice, we have to do it”. Yes, but how, a voice said. The man went closer to the mountain, stayed for a while there and when he came back he said. “if you go closer, you will see that it is not really a solid mountain. It’s made of sand. We can move it.

They took their buckets and started moving a mountain.

“Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality” – N. Kazantzakis

.photo by Hamed Saber

Apr 10, 2008



But I couldn't resist to that song....


Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin

Dance me through the panic till Im gathered safely in

Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove

Dance me to the end of love

Not yet

Nope ! I'm not in a dancing mood.
Not yet....


Have you ever felt that next to your heart there is another heart too. No, there is not a metaphor here, it’s a fact. Imagine a body has two hearts. I feel an ache but it is not coming from mine. It’s the other’s pain.

Ok. I know that this sounds weird but this is how it is.

Apr 8, 2008

misty times

lost memories,
where are they ?
why they left ?
misty memories
which are the false?
which are the true?

Apr 7, 2008


photo by greekadman

it is not easy to reach the top.

being low its a way

to peace



Apr 6, 2008

Back seat

You hear a discussion from the back seat and suddenly its you who goes back. In your past. And then you realize some details you have forget or hide from yourself. A sleeping dragon wakes up. But you avoid seeing it, trying to erase it because he bears a change and change bears fears no matter if it is for the best or for the worst.

But they keep talking.
You look at the mirror and you see yourself. Yet, you refuse to admit it.
They show you a photo.
You have to admit your denial. . You were there.

Strange , what those passengers in the back seat can tell you.

Apr 4, 2008

Ice cube

Photo by Mike_tn

To change the shape of an ice cube ,

first you have to let it melt.

Apr 2, 2008


photo by canbalci

I wish you could be here.
You said you can’t
I said I have to respect that
And I will

i want to knock your door
i can knock your door
But you need silence
So i can’t and will not.

i hear your voice
It tells me to “hang in there”
This is what i do
i won’t give up.

Fighting to fight
Fighting to release
Not a unafraid warrior
Just a scared kid

Hungry child, foolish child
This is all i am
Missing your touch
and that hug emoticon

Apr 1, 2008

Dazed & confused

I don’t know what is wrong and what is right
to do or to say.

What if I stay silent ?
What if I don’t ?

What is fair or unfair for me?
What is fair or unfair for the other?

Where are the answers hidden?
In the mind or in the heart ?
What to trust and what not ?

I wish I knew …..