filling up

not empty

neither full

art byAnji Johnston

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without title

Concealed, revealed,
In the unknown, in the un-manifest.
Rumi


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enthusiasm

Long time ago I was talking with a friend about faith, trust, God , universe, you know all those questions. With my mind I understood perfectly what he was talking about but my heart haven’t got a clue . I use Yijing for guidance and the readings I got lately echoed his words. But this time, I could understood and every another- time I understand better. The last couple of days I was looking for an answer hidden in the lines of gua 16. Wilhelm’s Enthusiasm. Then I went to LiSe’s website to read her 16. The word inspiration everywhere but it didn’t really made sense. I was looking for an answer how to do something I had in mind and I couldn’t find it . Sometimes , when I feel I can’t understand the obvious I go to a dictionary to look up for the words. So, I did and here it is what I found

enthusiasm, from Gk. enthousiasmos, from enthousiazein "be inspired". The source of the word is the Greek enthousiasmos, which ultimately comes from the adjective entheos, "having the god within," formed from en, "in, within," and theos, "god."

I went back to my reading. And it was clear. Maybe there are still things I haven’t see yet, but I know where is the way out.

It’s “That within” . And even if you have to face big challenges, “That within” has a voice which says “everything will be OK” And more than ever, I understand.
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show off

The other day I got an invitation so I had to think whether I should say yes or no. I tried to think all the possible what-if- I-do-it/ what-if-I-don’t scenarios . I found myself unable to predict the answers, actually I laughed with myself. I had to Ask Yi too. Not sure for its answer too. So I just did it, without really expecting something. Without any concern about the result, I started writing the story and it was really fun to do it.

Here it is …


... And yes I'm showing off , hahaha

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firmly floating

A friend told me the following, couple of days ago. Oh, I wish I could put into paper all the thought aroused that saying in my mind. I choose to post it here without analyzing. Some things are simply beautiful and I think its better them that way.


"... aware of existing in a place of infinate possiblity,
he plants his feet firmly on the ground,
which floats in space ... "



Only thing I want is to add that picture, the first thing came in my mind when I hear my friend's words.

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almond tree

Blossoming Almond Tree- Vincent Van Gogh

I was looking at some drafts and wanted to choose some of them to catch up a bit. Thoughts about the difficulties I had to go through, feelings, etc, etc. But I won’t. I’ll leave them in my notebooks as they are because something else wants to be told. Those difficulties are not over yet, and probably others will come but what it matters now, its that I can smile.

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When we have choose a path and things drags us away from that if we don’t forget that we can return again , we can smile. “Exit and enter without angst” says Yi ching's hex 24, with the words of a friend. And in absence of angst there is a place for a smile.

Now, I’m writing this, I’m thinking of putting some links of previous posts that come in my mind now, about dives in the abysmal water, but its not necessary. Somewhere inside us there is a reservoir of experience, our history, a record of where we come from. And in this blog some parts of that history have be written. No need to repeat them. Its history. What is more important is where we go. We walk in a path with our book of life in a pocket like a survival kit. And we move on, with a little more experience. Just a little more higher as Seferis says in his poem.

Just a little more
And we shall see the almond trees in blossom
The marbles shining in the sun
The sea, the curling waves.
Just a little more
Let us rise just a little higher.

p.s. Van Gogh's Almond tree was one of the most indifferent painting to me, till I saw the original painting and changed my mind. Its the smile I'm talking about.



photo credits

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biggie... lol

Wow, its been ages since I last blog here. Many things have happened that dragged me away from my blog. And the more I don’t write, the more I want the first return post be perfect. Lol, my perfectionism

So this is my first "return" blog entry. Not a biggie but great at the same time.
Wandering around , I missed my home.

Still rusty, slow moving.

But…….. I’m coming back

Hi there.
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fit not

The great difference between a ride and a trip
Is the joy and the sorrow
they don’t fit in a ride


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Loose translation from a song


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Discardable

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Throwing away empty containers
Not useful anymore.
Making space on the shelf
for the new full ones.
Till they become empty too.

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goodbyes

Goodbyes are not easily spoken
You have to take that knife and cut the rop that holds you with the other
And it feels that you have to cut a piece of your heart too,
The piece where the others lives.

Then , one day,
You hear your self saying goodbye
With such a easyness, that makes you wonder.
“was that easy ?”
No, it wasn’t , just it needed time.

Some of this goodbyes are kind of magical
Because the one you disconnect with, returns.
Not in flesh and blood but in spirit.
Like he did. Absent and present.

In my dreams, that’s where I met him again.
Years after our last meeting.
I was talking to him and he was reading between the lines.
You know that feeling ?


With some people we are bond forever
even if we walk in different paths
And when air is not enough to breathe
that breeze says that goodbyes
ain't strong enough to cut that bonds.

Hi there !

ballons

white trasparent ballons
floating in the sky
where are they going ?
with whom they seek to meet ?

What current guides them ?

no-no

Few days ago, a friend of mine introduced my to a acquaintance of her ,as a writer and painter. I said “no-no, its not exactly the truth” .Especially nowadays. There are titles I don’t fit into them. What I do, the way I see it is just playing with words and brushes. Its my way to enter to a place I call home , my way to meet that child.

mire

A naked body is sleeping
on the bed’s white sheets
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a pen on a white paper

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A brush on a white canvas
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Stillness
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Emptiness
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Silence

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Princess Meme

Meme is not her name. Nobody remembers the real one neither when they start to call her Meme. As for the “why”, It’s simple. When someone needed help, the little princess was telling them. “Me, me !!! I can do it !!
The years passed and she never ceased to say “Me, me !!! I can do it !! After a long time it become a habit. Meme was happy because she could help and other where happy too because they where helped. People didn’t ask anymore. It was expected that Meme will help them. And Meme didn’t wait at all. When she was seeing someone needed help, she was running to them and giving a helping hand.

Meme was so reckless that she didn’t realized that she was spending too much of herself to help others. Sometimes she didn’t have the stamina, but even then she was gathering every small fractal of courage to honor her name. She was Meme .

Till not power left and she couldn’t do anything.

People start whispering. “She didn’t help me, she doesn’t care for me.” And then they were complaining to her. Some of them, frustrated, they told her. “Meme, you are so egocentric. You don’t give a damn for me” I was expecting to hear that, Meme told me. I knew it was coming. But I didn’t do much to prevent it. It’s not just their fault, is mine too. I let them do that. But now I want to change it because it’s wrong for me and for them too.

She didn’t said anything else. When she is sad, she disappears at her secret room. She seals her mouth and her door.

“I have to go now” she told me and she stood up to leave. She walked some step , she turn to me and told me.

-“Meme is not my real name, you know that ?”
- Yes, I do, I replied
- I didn't, Meme said.

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air

Air
Fresh air
Clean, fresh air

Into the deep dark waters
It’s all the diver needs




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