Oct 18, 2008


It is said that there are three elements in any face –to-face communication : words, tone of voice and body language. According to Albert Mehrabian words account 7%, tone of voice 38%, and body language accounts 55 %. For an effective and meaningful communication , especially about emotions those three elements need to support each other.

But sometimes words its the only tool we have to communicate. Its not the perfect but the only we have. Say that we communicate with our distant friend by e-mail, we only can use words which means 7% of the total message. Sometimes is not a problem but when it comes to express felling then we have to be very careful. We humans think in images and feelings and to translate the image language and the feeling language into word –which unfortunately hold different meanings- to convey them to a message ultimately we lose essentials information. And when the receiver interprets our message even more things are lost. So misunderstandings may appear because of the translations stages a image or a feeling has to go through and become another image or feeling at the other side.

I used to get angry when the other didn’t understand me. But in situations that I value a relationship I try to limit that. I want to believe that when two people have a good relationship when those misunderstandings occur they try to solve them. Especially when the 93% of our tools is not available.

Today I’m sad because of an argument with a friend. I can’t understand what really happened so I tried to ask him, to help me understand. With the 7% of my communication ability I make an effort to translate the picture I had in my mind. I didn’t succeed.

I don’t know what else to do. Words don’t help anymore. I just wish he knew the other 97%. Because words are the black and white in a painting and the rest of it are colours.

Colors make a difference. He teach me that.

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